When Life Hands You Symptoms, Make Sarcasm: A Survival Guide to My Body's Shenanigans

My body’s ever-evolving list of symptoms feels like a revolving door of challenges. The latest additions to the lineup are trigeminal neuralgia and a constant barrage of headaches that often escalate into migraines. These newcomers certainly know how to make an entrance—and not in a subtle way.

For years, I’ve been hosting the regulars: fibromyalgia, back pain, ADHD, and the hormonal chaos brought on by menopause. They’re old acquaintances by now, each with their own quirky demands. But trigeminal neuralgia and the headaches? They’re the fresh-faced rookies determined to make their mark. And boy, have they succeeded.

As if my usual challenges weren’t enough, the plot thickened with recent blood tests. Turns out, I’m running low on vitamin D3 and serum folate—two things I didn’t even realize could run low. My liver function tests (LFTs) have also decided to join the watch list, because apparently my body thrives on keeping me guessing.

In response, my GP has joined the party with a mixed strategy. On one hand, they’ve prescribed folic acid to give my folate levels a boost. On the other, they’ve handed me the reins to find my own vitamin D3 supplement. It’s like DIY healthcare meets professional intervention. So now, alongside waiting for a head and neck scan to confirm the existence of my brain, I’m also scouring the shelves (or websites) for the perfect sunshine-in-a-pill solution. Pro tips are welcome!

And then there’s the waiting. Oh, the waiting. I’m still in line for that scan, where the big mystery will (hopefully) be solved. The irony of questioning whether I have a brain, while managing all of this, isn’t lost on me. But the waiting isn’t just about finding answers; it’s about finding patience in the face of uncertainty, which is easier said than done when your head feels like it’s hosting a nonstop rave.

Living like this means navigating not just the physical pain, but also the mental and emotional toll of uncertainty and constant adaptation. Yet somehow, amid the chaos, I’ve managed to find moments of lightness. Humor has become my go-to coping mechanism. Laughing at the absurdity of it all feels like reclaiming a tiny slice of control in a situation where so much feels out of my hands.

So here’s to anyone out there juggling their own long list of symptoms, inconclusive tests, and never-ending waits: you’re not alone. Life might not look how you imagined, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still find joy, humor, and resilience. Keep going, share your story, and most importantly, remember that even on the hardest days, you’re so much more than just your symptoms.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to research ways to boost vitamin D and folate without losing my sense of humor. Let’s see if I can turn sunshine and greens into something mildly entertaining—or at least edible.