Scan, Shop… and Wait (And Wait, And Wait…)

If there’s one thing I love about Asda’s Scan and Shop, it’s the sheer convenience. No trolley unloading, no frantic packing race against the conveyor belt—just scan, bag, and go. (In theory.)

But as any seasoned shopper knows, theory and reality are two very different things.  

Take my latest trip.

I’d zipped around, scanning and bagging like a pro, smug in the knowledge that I was shaving valuable minutes off my shopping ordeal. Then came the dreaded Basket Check. Okay, fine, I thought. It happens. No big deal.  

Then I noticed another family had been flagged too—with an absolutely gigantic trolley, and apparently, a miscalculation that required a full rescan. Cue the delay.  

So, being the rational, proactive shopper that I am, I asked staff if someone else could help speed things up. (Spoiler alert: they could not.) 

“We only have one scanner,” I was informed. “You’ll need to wait.”  

So I waited. And waited some more.  

Ten minutes in, another staff member appeared and asked if she could help. Excellent! Progress! I explained the situation. She nodded, entirely understanding the absurdity of it all and assured me she’d go grab another scanner.  

Fifteen minutes gone. 

She returned. Empty-handed. 

“No other scanner available, sorry.”  

Brilliant. So back to waiting I went. To their credit, the staff handling my actual basket check were lovely—friendly, apologetic, and clearly as fed up with the situation as I was. But lovely staff can only do so much when forced to operate in a system held together with chewing gum and optimism.

Eventually, the ordeal was over, my patience was hanging on by a thread, and I was ready to make my grand escape—except that my exit was BLOCKED.  

Yes, four, I kid you not, FOUR staff members had gathered at the barriers of the Scan and Shop area, engaged in a full-blown conversation, completely unaware that I was standing there, desperately trying to leave like some kind of supermarket hostage.  

Did they move? Nope.  

Did I squeeze past with a polite but pointed “excuse me”? You bet.  

Shopping in the car, home was on the horizon—but oh no, the retail gods weren’t done with me yet.  

Because some absolute parking genius had decided that the best possible place to pack their groceries was directly in front of the disabled spaces.   

Not in a space. In front of them.

At this point, my irritation had transcended words. I just sat there, contemplating the sheer audacity of it all, wondering whether people simply lack self-awareness or actively choose chaos.  

So, in conclusion:  

- Scan and Shop? Great in theory, rage-inducing in reality.  

- Retail efficiency? Utterly mythical.  

- Parking etiquette? Non-existent.  

And now, I’m staying home for a week. Maybe two.